October 11th marked National Coming Out Day. National Coming Out Day has been celebrated in supportive communities since 1988. Since then, society has seen significant advances in awareness, support, and advocacy for LGBTQIA+ communities. Unfortunately, while there has been positive progress being open about your identity and sexuality remains a deeply personal and sometimes complicated experience. Coming out, while a powerful and affirming step for anyone within the LGBTQIA+ community, is still a complex journey.

The Emotional Impact of Hiding Who You Are

Research has found that hiding your identity and sexuality has a ripple effect on nearly all parts of a person’s life. For people who remain “in the closet,” a significant part of their identity is hidden. This often means that they are investing significant time and energy assessing every conversation and interaction, attempting to gauge how much of themselves they can comfortably display without fear of negative reaction from their peers.

Due to living in this constant state of vigilance, as well as other external and societal pressures, people in the LGBTQIA+ community are more likely to experience higher rates of dissociation, anxiety, depression, and anger. Researchers from the University of Montreal have stated that, “coming out is no longer a matter of popular debate but a matter of public health”. Unfortunately, while coming out can alleviate the issue of hiding portions of your identity, it is still a complex, emotional and deeply individual process.

While coming out has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression in individuals, often leading to a better quality of life, it is not a one-size-fits-all experience. No one can decide when, or how, someone else should come out — each person must make that decision in their own time, based on their unique circumstances.

Each person’s coming out journey is affected by many factors, including their cultural and religious background, racial identity, geographic location, age, and location. Regardless of these differences, one truth remains constant: Everyone who comes out deserves love, acceptance, compassion, and support as they follow this journey.

The Benefits and Challenges of Coming Out

Typically, coming out is accompanied with many positive improvements within a person’s life, such as a reduction in chronic stress and anxiety. One of the biggest advantages to coming out is the ability to build stronger and more meaningful relationships. These can be deepening the existing relationships in your life by being more open and vulnerable with them, or new relationships that you developed along the way on your coming out journey.

However, coming out can also come with challenges. Not everyone’s reaction will be positive, and unfortunately, there are still people who may not be ready or receptive to accepting others as they are.

While many people in your life may accept you for who you are, it’s likely, as you begin to share your truth with more people, that you will encounter someone that may respond negatively. This realization can be painful, especially if it involves someone close to you.

If someone rejects or invalidates your identity, it’s important to remember that this reflects their limitations, not yours. You have the right to set boundaries, or create distance, to protect your mental wellbeing.

How Therapy Can Support You Through Coming Out

If you are considering coming out but don’t know where to start, have already come out but are facing difficulties moving forward, or are struggling with your identity in any way, it may help to talk to a therapist.

Therapy provides a confidential and supportive environment for you to explore your feelings, build confidence, and process the reactions of others in a safe and affirming environment. At Gibson and Associates, our therapists are here to help you navigate this process with care, understanding and respect. If you believe therapy may help you on your journey, feel free to take our free Therapist Matching Quiz to find a therapist that best fits your needs. Not sure where to start? Connect with our Client Care Coordinator to be matched with one of our available clinicians.

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