This past month, our community gathered for Take Back the Night, a powerful annual march and rally that uplifts the voices of survivors of gender-based violence and calls for a world free from sexual violence. As therapists and as people who walk alongside survivors every day, we honour the courage it takes to speak up, to show up, or even just to survive.

This year’s march occurred against the backdrop of the recent trial involving several Canadian hockey players and the exposure of Hockey Canada’s fund used to cover up systemic sexual violence. The trial and its outcome—regardless of the legal conclusions—have reopened wounds for many. Survivors in our communities may be feeling grief, rage, numbness, disbelief, or deep sadness. All reactions are valid.

Trauma Can Show Up in Many Ways

It’s important to say this clearly: there is no “right” way to feel or react to trauma. Some survivors may want to talk about it right away. Others may not speak for years—or ever. Some feel anger, while others feel guilt, confusion, or disconnection. Many experience isolation—pulling away from others because it feels safer, or because they worry no one will understand or believe them.

What unites many experiences of trauma—especially gender-based and sexual violence—is the profound disruption to one’s sense of safety. Survivors often report feeling like the world is no longer predictable, their bodies no longer their own, and trust no longer something they can afford.

Healing begins by understanding this truth: your responses make sense. You are not broken. You are responding to something that never should have happened.

How Trauma Shows Up After Gender-Based Violence

Trauma doesn’t look the same for everyone. Survivors of gender-based or sexual violence may notice changes in their emotions, thoughts, body, or relationships. These reactions can show up right away—or years later. None of them mean you are “doing it wrong.” They are natural responses to something overwhelming.

Emotional and psychological signs of trauma

• Intense emotions such as anger, fear, guilt, or shame
• Numbness, emptiness, or feeling “shut down”
• Sudden waves of grief, sadness, or rage triggered by reminders
• Nightmares or intrusive memories of what happened
• Difficulty concentrating or staying present

Physical responses to trauma

• Trouble sleeping or staying asleep
• Changes in appetite or digestion
• Feeling constantly on edge or jumpy (hypervigilance)
• Headaches, muscle tension, or unexplained body pain
• Exhaustion or fatigue, even after resting

Relational and behavioural impacts of trauma

• Pulling away from friends, family, or social events
• Difficulty trusting others, even loved ones
• Avoidance of places, people, or situations that feel unsafe
• Turning to coping strategies like overworking, substance use, or numbing behaviours

It’s important to remember: these responses are not signs of weakness. They are the body and mind’s way of protecting you. Healing begins when survivors can see that these responses make sense—and that with the right support, safety and trust can be rebuilt.

How to Support a Survivor of Sexual Violence

When someone you care about has experienced sexual or gender-based violence, it can feel overwhelming to know what to do or say. You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need to “fix” anything. But what you can do is powerful: be a consistent, safe presence.

Practical ways to support a survivor:

• Listen without judgment. Let them share what they want, when they’re ready. Silence can be just as supportive as words.
• Affirm their reality. Phrases like “I believe you,” “You’re not alone,” or “What happened is not your fault” can make a profound difference.
• Respect their boundaries. Survivors need to feel in control. Avoid pressuring them to share details, seek therapy, or report to authorities unless that’s their choice.
• Offer choices. Simple things like asking, “Would you like me to sit with you, or would you prefer some space?” help restore a sense of agency.
• Be mindful of triggers. Survivors may avoid certain places, people, or topics. Respect those limits and don’t push.
• Stay consistent. Trauma often makes trust feel fragile. Showing up reliably—checking in, remembering important dates, or simply being available—helps rebuild safety.

You Are Not Alone

If you are a survivor impacted by the Take Back the Night events, the trial coverage, or simply the heavy weight of past or present trauma—you deserve care and healing. That healing doesn't have to happen all at once. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. But it is possible.

We are here to walk with you—at your pace, on your terms.

If you or someone you love is struggling after experiencing sexual violence, our therapists are here to offer trauma-informed, compassionate support. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

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